I had never been more anxious in my life. I was just about to receive my O-1 results. I was so confident in myself that I told everyone, “I’m definitely getting straight A’s!” Sure enough, I got an A*. I got an A. And I got a B. Not gonna lie that a B was slightly disappointing, but it was still a very respectable grade in my opinion. I was excited to tell my parents all about it, but that excitement was short-lived.
I called my dad on the spot and told him the big news and he said, I quote, “Really? A, B? Well, what can you do now,” and he hung up. I could FEEL the disappointment in his voice. My heart came up to my throat, I didn’t know what to do. Millions of thoughts were rushing into my head at once, I felt like such a financial drain for my parents. That slightly disappointing B turned into a haunting reminder of how I could never live up to my parents’ expectations.
My siblings were very supportive of me, along with my mother, who had always prioritized my happiness over academics. But I still couldn’t shake that feeling inside me. Everyone talked of how they had gotten gifts and cakes and love from their parents, but all I got was a cold shoulder.
I really want to do better this time, but the problem is I’m not as motivated as I used to be, the thought of my father’s disappointment still drags me down I don’t know if I’ll ever reach up to his expectations of me. I try but I just can’t seem to study. My school feels like a prison to me and classes seem like routinly torture.
-Anonymous