I\u2019ve always had this weird habit where I hate taking money from my parents. I just can\u2019t. Now that I say it out loud it sounds dumb. Whenever we\u2019re out shopping and I see something that I really like, I just can\u2019t bring myself to say, \u2018Ammi, I really like this, can we buy it, please?\u2019 Whenever we\u2019re out at a restaurant and my mom asks what I\u2019d like to eat I\u2019d simply say, \u2018Whatever you want,\u2019 when deep down I know I really want that new juicy BigBang burger. It\u2019s gotten to the point where I feel shy even asking her for money so I can buy my past papers for school.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I just feel like such a burden on my parents all the time \u2013 physically and financially. So, I try to minimise all my expenses as much as possible. I turn down my friends when they ask me to hangout, I don\u2019t ask my parents to buy me things, and I refuse to take any gifts from them on my birthday. So while my brother goes out to parties, hangs out with friends, goes to picnics and buys unnecessary stuff, I sit at home trying to \u2018compensate\u2019 by studying. It\u2019s the only thing I\u2019m good at that can give my parents a sigh of relief. The A*s act as my repayment for all the extra hours my dad has had to work and the comfort my mom has had to sacrifice because of us, at least for the time being.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I push myself every day to get a 100% scholarship in A Levels, that way my parents wouldn\u2019t have to worry about paying my college fees. But that too has taken a toll on my health lately. All the sleepless nights have led to me getting frequent migraines and fatigue, it\u2019s exactly what you get when you chew more than you can swallow. I\u2019ve also spent many nights contemplating if I should get a local job or start a typical tuition in my room so I can at least pay for a few of my expenses, I know it\u2019s not much but it\u2019s a step nonetheless.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I\u2019ve seen my parents struggle and sacrifice so much for us, and I love them too much to let them go on like this. I just can\u2019t see myself as a burden. Whenever someone asks what I want to be in the future, I never see myself having a particular job or profession. I only see myself earning enough so I can give my parents all the comfort and joy and material possessions they desire. All I want is to somehow give them what they gave me. That is what keeps me going.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It seems ridiculous but I can\u2019t help but feel this way. I just hope what I\u2019m doing is the right thing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
-Anonymous <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I\u2019ve always had this weird habit where I hate taking money from my parents. I just can\u2019t. Now that I say it out loud it sounds dumb. Whenever we\u2019re out… <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":696,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"nf_dc_page":"","om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[],"writer":[72],"class_list":["post-701","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-humans-of-bla","writer-ibraheem-farooq"],"acf":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/blog.beaconlightacademy.edu.pk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/Screenshot_20191125-163756__01__01.jpg?fit=905%2C600&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.beaconlightacademy.edu.pk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/701","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.beaconlightacademy.edu.pk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.beaconlightacademy.edu.pk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.beaconlightacademy.edu.pk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.beaconlightacademy.edu.pk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=701"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/blog.beaconlightacademy.edu.pk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/701\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":707,"href":"https:\/\/blog.beaconlightacademy.edu.pk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/701\/revisions\/707"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.beaconlightacademy.edu.pk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/696"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.beaconlightacademy.edu.pk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=701"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.beaconlightacademy.edu.pk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=701"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.beaconlightacademy.edu.pk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=701"},{"taxonomy":"writer","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.beaconlightacademy.edu.pk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/writer?post=701"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}